I think I can, I Think I can.......But DOING it is the hardest part

So it’s that time of the year again: THE HOLIDAYS.

The time of the year when I can only think about one thing: MY FUTURE...

I start scrambling and thinking of ways to get by. This time of year makes me think about all the things that I can NOT afford to get my friends and family... I know what you're thinking--- just make them gifts! But guess what, I'm not that damned creative! I save that shit for people like Martha Stewart and Victoria Hamilton (http://satindolldc.blogspot.com/)

I'm the kind of girl who finds it easier to buy stuff,  like gift cards (even though they are completely impersonal and show no consideration for the person that you are giving them to, but I hate trying to find things for people, especially when there is a chance that they might not like it, or just try to return the crap that I picked up for them anyways!!!) (Kala, MOM, UHHHH  rude!!!!) http://youtu.be/jZkdcYlOn5M

Anyways, for the last five years I have thought of nothing but going to law school, not for the money, (although the money helps) but more for the stability and the self worth. (I know lawyers aren't stable and the job situation is crap and blah blah blah, but I have confidence in myself, and I have a master plan.)

I have been studying for this damned LSAT for 5 years (well on and off) and I have yet to accomplish anything with this stupid test. I mean I just don't seem to get the crap, it just does not seem to be sinking into my head. I have yet to have that aha moment that Oprah talks about, where everything just clicks. I mean I get it when I can discuss it with someone else but when it's just me and that damned test, my lights go out :(

So... this year I have made a decision: DECEMBER 11th I'm going to take this test for the last time and if I do not do well, I will move on with my life and not look back. It probably just means that this was not meant for me, and maybe something better will come along. But I must go back to school. I'm going to give it my all, and try my HARDEST, and at the end I will know that I did my best.
So friends and family, this year for the holidays you will be getting NOTHING, because I have not had that AHA moment, which would have afforded me a better job, with better pay, to get you guys those UN-thoughtful gift cards I know you all so love.

 **All I can give you is me. My dreams, my time, my love.
If that isn't enough, I'm not sure what else I can do.
Just please love me the way I love you and understand. And in the future we can all celebrate my successes and yours too!**