My Career My Life

Audrey Hepburn once stated “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

My career path demands proof of education, determination, and commitment to purpose. I have those qualities and only seek the degree to prove it. This degree would add a tangible value to my education, my time, and my determination to be more than my situation. The process to get this far is not easy but anything that’s worth having, never is.  On most days, I would agree but there are moments when I wake up and realize how much good I could do for others by obtaining this degree that within itself keeps me determined.

 Obtaining this degree would mean that not only will I be able to help better my future, but I will be able to go out and help someone else, it means that I will have an opportunity to voice my opinions and concerns and have them heard on a serious level.  I can attend  conference’s and forms where others with the same passion come together and try to come up with logical resolutions, and have them presented in a uniform way so that everyone gets heard. This degree means that I will have an opportunity to find a job where my ideas and dreams for the world and our future can be shard and heard without judgment, and can be built upon, where I can find likeminded people, who share the same passion to grow, fix, explore and add on to our global community. This degree will provide me the opportunity to learn about other community’s and cultures in a political and non-biases way. 

My career plan is to work in the human rights field or humanitarian affairs arena. I would like to be able to help with relief programs and participate in global debates, as this degree will open up the doors for me to pursue those avenues.  I believe that I can help my global community when it comes to addressing regional and international issues. To develop effective policy and laws that, in turn, governs activities
of the laws already in place when it pertains to refugees.

Many people hate their situation, and the situations of others, but never do anything about it.  As a first-generation college student, I have seen firsthand what not having a higher education can do to you, I have witnessed people suffer in regret, not because they were not smart enough to receive their degree, but because they lacked, perseverance, resilience, resourcefulness, and hard work. I have made it my life’s mission to help those who cannot help them self’s, It is my belief that seeking this degree in Global relations will assist me in reaching my goals of making a difference. I refuse to live in a world full of hesitation and regret, so I have vowed that I would use one hand to better myself and the other to help others. 

 “As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.  We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.”~ Dalai Lama

Like a Death in the family......Lost of a friendship....

Should I wear black, because like a death in the family I mourn for what I have lost? Should I sing another sad love song because like a death in the family my spirit will be lifted by the sound of a song should I cry tears because like a death in the family you are no longer near? True to myself I will smile in your face and pretend that it does not hurt, that our friendship never meant a thing. but you know me better than that to know that, that is a lie, that I am truly hurt, but the facade I have put up and my ego will continue to let me lie and show you otherwise so like a death in the family I will just mourn, cry and shed tears in private and know that what was lost will never be forgotten, and what is forgotten will never be lost.
~Khameelah Tomlin

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."
~Bernard Meltzer

No ring, No Man, No babies, why not!!



I went on a fantastic vacation to Ireland (Dublin & sligo) and Paris,With my sister from another mister Catherine, well let’s just say we had a fantastic time, especially in Ireland the place of pure beauty, strong Irish history and never ending scenic views,you might not believe it but (and this is just MY opinion) Ireland has more to offer for travelers, the never ending rolling hills, and the locals that are so friendly, and can tell you the best CRAIC (Craic = News/Story).

 Cat and I in Sligo  

    



Our Friend and The best tour guide EVER Micheal.



Three Amigos

Curly, Moe and Larry



The Beginning of our 3 mile Hike...yea




Don't we look like a gap add...lol



 Back in Sligo so our tour guide put us to work Cat feeding the cattle.


 

Grave yard ( Education Lesson of the day, sligo has a LOT of grave yards)

Ireland is also a prime family vacation spot, not a place for someone wondering if her eggs are drying up while staring at cute little kids making funny faces in the window.






Dublin Ireland home of  the Touchy Men...lol



Never seen river dancing before but it is amazing how they never move there upper body, what control



Some of our favorite locals took us to see river dancing.




Just monkeying around in Dublin

Paris the city of lights and love, what a terrible and beautiful place for a single person to go, everyone around you is ecstatic happy and in love, and when you’re not dating anyone you start to look at people in a different light and think things like why her? Why not me? or wont they get a damn room??? (Tell the truth you know you thought it)



City of love (pic by Catherine)




PARIS city of lights, angles, and LOVE!!!

Cat and i about to go Partying like rock stars!!!



Do like the french do and dine on Bread, Olives, Cheese and Wine..yum




Local pizzeria in Paris




PARIS gotta love it!!!

But the point is I was able to take this trip because I DON'T have cute little faces in my window or smooching session every few minutes. These things would have definitely been the end all for me (i.e. trying to coordinate with my mate on finances to afford this trip asking permission and trying to schedule a good time for both of us) i was able to just get up and leave when I felt it no, questions asked, with kids I probable would not have been able to go AT ALL because I would have been to broke trying to buy similac and pampers.

So it is not at all, in any way shape or form a BAD thing to be single, in fact if you just put your mind to it everything you have been wishing you could do you can! Just drop the excuses! No ring, No man, No babies. Don’t be that person, that says I wish I could have bought that town house, owned that car, went to grad school, went out more often, did a great vacation, traveled the world TWICE...

Why wait why not do you, NOW!!!! No ring No man, No babies..... Isn’t it great to be single!































                                                      






                                                       

I think I can, I Think I can.......But DOING it is the hardest part

So it’s that time of the year again: THE HOLIDAYS.

The time of the year when I can only think about one thing: MY FUTURE...

I start scrambling and thinking of ways to get by. This time of year makes me think about all the things that I can NOT afford to get my friends and family... I know what you're thinking--- just make them gifts! But guess what, I'm not that damned creative! I save that shit for people like Martha Stewart and Victoria Hamilton (http://satindolldc.blogspot.com/)

I'm the kind of girl who finds it easier to buy stuff,  like gift cards (even though they are completely impersonal and show no consideration for the person that you are giving them to, but I hate trying to find things for people, especially when there is a chance that they might not like it, or just try to return the crap that I picked up for them anyways!!!) (Kala, MOM, UHHHH  rude!!!!) http://youtu.be/jZkdcYlOn5M

Anyways, for the last five years I have thought of nothing but going to law school, not for the money, (although the money helps) but more for the stability and the self worth. (I know lawyers aren't stable and the job situation is crap and blah blah blah, but I have confidence in myself, and I have a master plan.)

I have been studying for this damned LSAT for 5 years (well on and off) and I have yet to accomplish anything with this stupid test. I mean I just don't seem to get the crap, it just does not seem to be sinking into my head. I have yet to have that aha moment that Oprah talks about, where everything just clicks. I mean I get it when I can discuss it with someone else but when it's just me and that damned test, my lights go out :(

So... this year I have made a decision: DECEMBER 11th I'm going to take this test for the last time and if I do not do well, I will move on with my life and not look back. It probably just means that this was not meant for me, and maybe something better will come along. But I must go back to school. I'm going to give it my all, and try my HARDEST, and at the end I will know that I did my best.
So friends and family, this year for the holidays you will be getting NOTHING, because I have not had that AHA moment, which would have afforded me a better job, with better pay, to get you guys those UN-thoughtful gift cards I know you all so love.

 **All I can give you is me. My dreams, my time, my love.
If that isn't enough, I'm not sure what else I can do.
Just please love me the way I love you and understand. And in the future we can all celebrate my successes and yours too!**

Right through me!

I thought he could see right through me, and he could, well kind of, he is the one man that loved me regardless of my bad attitude and constant complaints, weight gain, weight loss, and ever changing mood, and continues nagging (to get him to go back to school) because i could Always see the man he could be, but never the man that he was, the man that loved me unconditionally.

 61/2 years of ups and downs and i finally learned to love him for the man he was, and not the man he could be, and then it was over, because i would not give him what he wanted, and i would not swallow my pride, and do the only thing he ever asked for out of me, a baby!

 But what about what I wanted? All the places I wanted to see, all things I wanted to do? Besides being someone’s mother, nurse, caregiver, and play toy, besides i was not sure if i would even make a good mother, i knew what i was good at seduction and being a bitch.

But mother hood?!?!?!?! not sure if that was something that was even meant for me, that's for people with big hearts and unconditional understanding, and i do not have those qualities, I'm impatient and arrogant and brutally honest, some time to a fault, i would feel bad for any kid that got stuck with  me.

And i could not swallow my pride and do what i new would keep him, but i knew that HE would be a great parent,and i knew this would make him happy, but i did not want to become the statistical black women, but how do i know that my life would not have been better, or good for that matter, with a man who loves me unconditionally, why would i not be able to have it all? it would only be with my own limitations that i would not be able to have it all, a career, a family and all the traveling and fun i could withstand. Is that realistic? i did not think so at the time, but now I'm not to sure.

Again i ask you how do we know what comes first? for the typical twenty first century woman, marriage does not have to be first, a career does not have to come first, so how do we deceiver in our own life's what is best for us? is it by meticulous planning or is it trial and error and we just jump into it and hope for the best.

I don't think these things can really be planned out, sometimes to make the most out of our lives we just have to dive in feet first blind to the outcomes.

Here we go!

Well first I want to start off by saying that I am so grateful to everyone who cares about what I write. Now with the preliminaries out the way let’s begin

I wanted to start this blog because I wanted to show how UN-ordinary one persons life could be, so I’m going to try to tell it all, the good, the bad, and the truly ugly, and while doing so I hope I don’t offend or sham to many people (i.e. my family), I know that my writing is deplorable but I hope you all bear with me.

Well let’s get started!

P.S if you have not noticed this blog is ALL about me J